


It's 2 am and I can't sleep because of you

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, coming out?, gilbert calls ludwig ludi, i don't know how to tag, i dont know, i guess this is a drabble?, ludwig calls gilbert gilly, ludwig is a smol child, prussia is drunk, prussia is king of the homos, small mentions of homophobia, spain is king of booty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 03:52:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6938542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gilbert finally figures out that he's super gay one night while and basically pours out his feelings for Antonio to his smol bean of a brother.<br/>--<br/>Gilbert is like 17 I guess? Smol Ludwig is probably like 9 idek. Antonio is like 18 or something.<br/>Ignore my bad grammar and bad spelling pls<br/>I think this is a drabble? I'm honestly not even sure myself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's 2 am and I can't sleep because of you

1:54 am

Gilbert cried. He couldn't stop the thoughts about his best friend racing through his mind. Antonio to him was an angel - charming, funny and attractive. Like the perfect gift wrapped in the best ribbon, except instead of a ribbon, he had that ass.

1:59 am  
He drank. And drank. And drank. He didn't want these thoughts in his head. There must be something wrong with him, why would he - a man - love Antonio?! His parents had always pestered him to get a nice girlfriend, maybe have a few children with her but that thought made him physically sick. His pastor had told him that homosexual sex was a sin, and that homosexual desires were sinful and something to be ashamed of. He told him that "If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination". Gilbert never really was one for believing in a god and wasn't particularly religious but his parents were and their Christian ways had been forced upon him and his brother since they were little.

2:05 am  
Gilbert could hear small footsteps on their wooden staircase, the quiet voice of his younger brother calling "Gilly, bruder?" making him nervous and calm at the same time.  
"Ludi, what are you doing up?" He tried his hardest to sober up, knowing he had to be a role model to the younger.  
"I couldn't sleep and I could hear you crying, what's wrong?"  
"You know how the pastor always teaches us that two men aren't allowed to be in a relationship and that only men and women can be together?"  
"I think so... You mean how they say being gay is a sin?"  
"Yes, Ludi. Well, I think I might be gay."  
"That's okay! You're still my favourite brother."

2:15 am  
Ludwig encouraged Gilbert to call Antonio and tell him how he felt almost immediately after confiding in him. Gilbert only laughed quietly, tucking the sheets around his little brother and telling him to "be quiet or Mama und Papa will wake up and tell you off for being up so late."

2:23 am  
Gilbert crawled back into his small room, grabbed his phone and shoved it in his pocket. He wasn't sure if he was more scared of his parents somehow hearing him or how Antonio would react to this absurd confession at half past two in the morning. He somehow decided that sitting on top of the roof would be better because for one, his parents wouldn't hear him but mainly so he could jump off if all went horribly wrong.

2:27 am  
After two missed calls, Antionio answered.  
"Gilbert? It's 2:30 am, what do you want?"  
"It's actually 2:27 am but that doesn't matter. I have something important to tell you."  
"Oh, what is it?"  
There was a long pause after that.  
He took a breath in.  
He couldn't do it.  
His heart started racing.  
He cried.  
Again.  
Twice in the span of under an hour. He sobbed down the phone, crying profanities and asking himself and Antonio why God had made him this way. And then asking himself and Antonio why he must be forced to believe in something he didn't want to.

2:31 am  
"I'm sorry, I just don't know what to do."  
"Gil, I understood none of what you just said. Take a few deep breaths and tell me slowly, okay?"  
"Okay," He took a few deep breaths like instructed, "Antonio, I think I'm gay and there's so much going on in my head and-" His rambling was cut off by Antonio's soft voice.  
"It is okay to be gay, Gil. You told me yourself that you didn't want to be Christian so why do you still let yourself believe what your parents tell you?"  
"I don't know." His voice was laced with guilt. He had no reason to feel guilty but he did.  
"You know I'm gay, right?"  
"No.. You never told me that."

2:47 am  
Gilbert found himself in the middle of the city making his way to McDonald's slowly, his navy hoodie doing barely anything to help against the cold wind. Toni had told him to meet up with him there at 2:45 and he was already two minutes late with around another three until he would actually get there. He saw about ten cars during his short walk and smiled as he saw his best friend leaning against the fast food building.  
"Hey Toni."  
"Hey. What do you want to do?"  
"Can we go to that place in the woods we used to go when we were kids?"  
"Sure."

3:01 am  
It took longer than expected but they made it. A small clearing in the local forest. The forest isn't some amazing and magical place though, it's fucking disgusting. There's discarded beer bottles and cigarette ends. They like it though. They kicked empty cans around and shit, they were happy. Gilbert's hoodie still wasn't doing anything and Antonio had ended up being that cliché prince charming and handed over his jacket to the younger. They'd been there for a mere twenty minutes contemplating their lives until Gilbert mustered up enough confidence to tell Antonio that he was in love with him. He'd only been able to tell him he was gay before being cut off.  
"Toni, you know how I told you I was gay before?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Well, before you cut me off when were talking on the phone I was about to tell you that.. I'm," He could feel his chest getting tighter and his eyes were starting to well up.  
"Calm down, Gil. You can tell me anything."  
"I think I'm in love with you.." His voice was barely above a whisper now.  
"You're what?"  
"In love with you.. Please don't hate me, I know you don't feel the same way," Gilbert was getting more panicky now, "I'm sorry."  
Gilbert's shaking hands wiped the tears that were running down his pale cheeks, trying to not look at Antonio. It almost gave him a heart attack when he felt Toni's warm hands over his cold ones, lacing their fingers together. His eyes met with Antonio's green ones for a split second before Gilbert's lips were attached to Antonio's. This wasn't how he'd planned his first kiss to go. It was nice but all he could taste was a nasty mixture of salsa dip and toothpaste.  
"Have you been eating salsa?" Was the first thing said after they pulled away for air.  
"How could you tell?"

4:24 am  
30 awkward kisses and 50 non-awkward kisses later they'd found themselves wandering hand-in-hand down the train track in a comfortable silence. Gilbert never wanted this to end.  
"Do you hear that?"  
"Hear what?"  
"I swear I can hear a train coming, can't you?"  
"Don't worry, Gil. Besides, this track isn't used anymore so it'll be on that track over there if there is one coming."  
"Oka-"

And everything went black.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry.


End file.
